Driving to crossfit this morning I found myself falling into selfish thought patterns (again). This week has been a challenging one. Jenny's mom died & i've been helping Jenny with all the things. Trying to support her the best ways I know how. That means cancelling my trip to NYC for my Breathwork training with Erin Telford that I've been looking forward to for 5 months.
I fell into that terrible trap of why me. Why don't I get to do the things that mean a lot to me? Why did this thing have to fall apart for me?
Then I heard Dave Grohl sing 'It's times like these you learn to love again'
Funny how random moments like that exist to remind you what matters most. Times Like These just happened to be playing on shuffle.
Because things do work out for me quite often. It's selfish of me to think things will always go as planned and exactly as I want them to.
I decided to cancel my trip to NYC because I need to be here with my wife and family. To support them. To let them know that they are the most important part of my life. Breathwork training will always be there. But choosing to give & serve & love should come first. And that it's all going to be ok
I'm sure the selfish thoughts will creep back in at some point. That's what they do. They're poison. But I am going to pause and smile knowing I caught myself early on this time before it took hold of me and I acted out the selfishness. I'm forming new pathways in my brain, healthier thoughts, based on love & connection & not based on fear & negativity.
My wish is for you to pay attention to your thoughts and negative patterns that pop up in your life & don't let them take control of you. Treat yourself some grace. You're not broken or messed up or anything other than an imperfect human trying to live the best life you can. Only love is real.
Be well, today, my friends.