I'm a big Rob Bell fan. I could seriously listen to that guy for hours. I've yet to hear him explain how paint dries, but I'm sure that he could turn that into a beautiful story filled with life-changing wisdom. He's just a gifted communicator.
Anyway, my podcast listening time is limited to driving solo to + from the gym. Jenny isn't a fan of podcasts + my kids definitely won't let me focus. And I like to take in every word, rewind if something magical is shared + just soak up all the knowledge my fellow humans have to offer through story telling.
So there I was driving to crossfit this morning + fan-boying over Rob's take on life's biggest questions. Then it happened. He said something that forced me to pull over to the side of the road because I just had to process instantly.
"You are the steward of your energies. Own the responsibility of being you."
Simple. Profound. Quite possibly life changing. Only time will tell.
I used to be careless with my time. Too much tv. Too much fast food. Too many video games. Too much of not doing anything that brought me lasting joy + lit my soul up. But now? Life is different. I probably spend way too much time on things that bring me pleasure. Scratch that, there's no such thing as spending too much time on things that bring you pleasure.
Meditation. Reading. Drawing. Conversations that don't involve the topics of weather or how busy my is. Reiki. Diving deep into who I am. Crossfit. Eating good, whole foods.
Something about the way Rob said "You are the steward of your energies." As in, I have control over my energy. I can actively take care of my energy. I can "Own the responsibility of being me" as he says. Here's the thing. There's not much in life we do have control over. We, as humans, have to be comfortable with that or we're going to feel a whole lot of unnecessary suffering in our lives. And I'm done with unnecessary suffering.
Don't get me wrong, I still feel pain, that's unavoidable, but suffering? Suffering doesn't have to be a part of our lives. The people I spend most of my time with don't always react the way I want them too. My kids still have cystic fibrosis. I don't travel as often as I'd like. Living in the suburbs of Kansas City is not the most inspiring place for me. I don't really feel home here. All of those situations could lead to suffering. But by actively paying attention to where my energy goes, I can eliminate the suffering from my life.
I am actively taking ownership of my energy, a finite source, I might add. I'm accepting that there are countless things outside of my control + not letting them zap my precious energy anymore. It takes work. It takes finding what fills you up + then doing those very things. It requires rest. It requires that you own being you, fully.
So what feeds you? What are the things gnawing deep in your inner continent that want to be released out into the world? What lights you up? Do you have the energy to pursue those things? Where is your energy going that's negatively affecting your life + relationships? Are you ready to make a change?